Books (official)

Frankenbear Strikes Minecraft
Author: Missiledude


You can download a copy here:
Coming Soon....


Notch was a middle-aged man who lived in Glen Waverley. He was feeling very sorrow today. His best friend Jeb had been murdered. Even worse he had been accused of the crime, and here he was on the run from the police.

It won’t be long before they track me down, thought Notch, then I’ll have to go to jail.

He shuddered at the thought of going to jail. Pitch darkness and little amount of food. He’d give anything not to go there.

His eyelids drooped, it was getting dark. It had been 2 days since the police had accused him. He checked his watch: 8 o’clock. Better find a safe place to spend the night. He climbed up a tree and lay down on a thick branch, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

BANG!!

Notch woke up at the sound of the gunshot. Who on earth would be awake at this time of night. The police? Was it the police looking for him? But policemen didn’t shoot randomly at night. He jumped down from his tree to investigate. He could hear distant voices. He moved towards that direction.

“This gun’s really handy, isn’t it Butler?” said a voice. For some reason he looked like a bear. A purple bear.

“Yes, sir,” answered the man named Butler.

“It’s kinda weak though. It took ten blasts from this to kill that man. What’s his name again? Jeb?” said the bear.

“Yes, sir,” said Butler.

Notch gasped

This bear killed Jeb, thought Notch, and he’s talking about it without any remorse, with amusement. He’s a cold-blooded killer.

Then Notch realised: if he caught it then he would be free.

I’ll go for the Butler guy first, he decided, he’s bigger and has the gun.

He crept up on them in silence. And then…

Snap!!

He had stepped on a twig.

“Who’s there?” shouted the bear.

Oh, man, thought Notch, this complicates things a bit.

Then everything went black.

Meanwhile at the epf headquarters…

Steve stepped into the EPF headquarters. EPF stood for Elite Police Force. The EPF was a team of elite officers that were beyond normal standard.

Steve was in a very bad mood. The commander had been watching him carefully ever since the murder of Jeb. He had a sneaking suspicion that he was looking for an excuse to sack him.

He was supposed to track down Jeb’s murderer but the murderer had gotten away.

Steve sped up hoping to get to his office before…

“STEVE, GET IN HERE!!!”

Oh well, here we go again, thought Steve

He entered the commander’s office. The commander was purple with rage.

“Well, what time do you call this?” asked the commander.

“There was a traffic jam sir; it took me half an hour to get here.”

“You know what the traffic’s like in the morning; get up a few minutes earlier. And now because of you we had to send Officer L on our most important mission and you know how he’s like under pressure.” said the commander.

Steve nodded. Officer L usually failed important missions because he gets really nervous.

“Now get over there to the gadget room and get Gary to fill you in on the mission, understood?”

“Yes, sir”

Gary was the EPF’s technician. He had invented many things, for example the weapons the officers use, and the special vehicles that they ride to go to places quickly. He was the best technician that the EPF had. And his inventions leaned towards the future.

Steve walked into the gadget room. The gadget room was where Gary designed and created his futuristic inventions. Gary was working on a new weapon. According to the label it was called a tri-barrel blaster.

“Ah hello Steve, come to prepare for your mission have you?” asked Gary.

“Yes,” replied Steve.

“Well as you know we discovered Jeb dead on the floor in his house 2 days ago. The door was broken down and his body showed signs of being zapped by a particularly weak weapon…”

“Gary! Concentrate on the mission.”

“Oh yeah, sorry. So Jeb was killed and now we’ve found out that Jeb’s murderer has gone and attacked another person. His name was Notch. The man that everyone thought had murdered Notch in the first place.”

“But he’s Jeb’s best friend, he couldn’t’ have killed him?”

“Yes we know, but the police still think he betrayed him. Fortunately for us we discovered who really murdered him. It was a bear named Frankenbear.”

“I’ve never heard of him”

“That’s because his real identity is Buddy Bear. He…”

“Buddy Bear?! Isn’t he that bear who used to be really nice to everyone?”

“Yes, but recent discoveries show us that Buddy Bear had been struck by a ray of lightning and has transformed into Frankenbear.”

“I thought I didn’t see Buddy Bear around anymore. He would really cheer me up.”

“So on with the mission. You job is to find Frankenbear’s hideout. Then call us and well send in some troops to help you capture him.”

“Ok then, what equipment have you got for me?”

“Locator. You find Frankenbear we find you. And also this helmet with video, camera and mike.”

“And a weapon?”

“Just finishing off this tri-barrel blaster then you can have it. It shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.”

Five minutes later Gary had finished with the tri-barrel blaster.

“There, it’s all yours for now. Make sure to return it when you’re done so I can duplicate it. It’s only a prototype. You might want to set it to stun so it won’t kill anyone. We want Frankenbear alive.”

“OK then, transport?”

“A stealth plane. Here I’ll lead the way.”

Gary led Steve to the vehicle area. There were loads of vehicles there. Most were Gary’s design.

“Here you go. A stealth plane. It’s a bit small though so you might want to take off any unnecessary items.”

The stealth craft was a lot smaller than usual crafts. There was hardly any space with the mass of wires inside. The cockpit had just enough room for the passenger.

“OK, this is basically like a normal craft except with some stealth features, no weapons and a lot less space. It’s much harder trying to spot a tiny craft than trying to spot a gigantic aircraft floating in the middle of nowhere. Usually negotiators and spies use them…”

“Concentrate Gary! Concentrate on the mission!”

“All right, all right! So this button here activates the invisibility booster. And this button here activates the whisper-quiet engine. Should be easy enough to remember. So go in and get ready for take-off.”

Steve got in the craft while Gary headed for the control room. This was actually how Steve liked it. No showing-off technicians bragging in his face, talking about science, physics and a bunch of other scientific nonsense that he didn’t know about.

“OK, were opening up the door, get ready to move.’

The door of the vehicle area opened up. Steve started up the engine. It was very loud.

Remind me to tell Gary to make the engines a bit softer; thought Steve, they really give me a headache.

He flew the craft outside. Fresh air filled the tiny craft. It was very refreshing.

Get a move on, this is not the time to be enjoying the conditions outside, he told himself.

He checked the map on the screen. There was a cave up north that no-one had explored, there was a chance that his hideout was there.

He flew the craft at full speed to the cave. Half an hour later he arrived. But there was no sign of a hideout there.

“Hmm,” said a voice in his helmet, “hmm, it doesn’t seem that the hideout is there. Try somewhere else.”

Steve was about to leave the area when he noticed some large rocks inside the cave. He landed the craft, it was very loud.

The first thing I do when I get back to headquarters is give Gary a good kick up the behind, thought Steve, if this was his hideout then he would have heard him.

He started trying to move the rocks. It was hard work but one hour later he had successfully moved the rocks to create a passage big enough for him to go through.

If this guy’s so smart then why did he hid his hideout behind some rocks in a cave? Thought Steve, there must be something I don’t know.

He stepped into the narrow passage. He felt the walls for a sign of a hidden door. Just stone. Nothing unusual. And then the ground below him started to shake.

Uh oh, thought Steve, so much for arrogance.

A hole opened underneath him and he tumbled into the abyss. And Steve hit the floor below with a dull thud.

3 hours before in Mount Waverley…

Frankenbear (The Purple Bear) was looking at Notch. He seemed to have been knocked out by the zap from the gun.

“Hahaha! That’s what you get when you when you try to sneak up on Frankenbear,” laughed Frankenbear triumphantly, “Butler, get the car ready.”

“Yes, sir” answered Butler.

They hopped into the car (Butler dumped Notch in the passenger seats in the back). They were driving to the airport (Frankenbear’s castle was in England). Half an hour later they arrived at the airport.

After the long and boring flight from Melbourne to London. Frankenbear and Butler are home.

In front of them stood a colossal castle. It was designed by Buddy Bear. He had hired a team of builders to construct the castle. Most of the floors were had carpets. There were 3 stories not including the roof and the basement. There were five bedrooms, three lounge rooms (one on each floor), two kitchens and two dining rooms (one on each of the upper floors).

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss the marvels of Frankenbear’s castle so on with the story. Frankenbear had prepared a room, just in case they captured someone. And that was the case so Frankenbear instructed Butler to leave Notch in that room.

Frankenbear was sitting in the lounge waiting for Butler.

“This gun really needs to be stronger doesn’t it? It takes ten shots from it to kill a guy.”

“Yes, sir”

“You know what we really need Butler? We need some troops. Because if you’re a criminal you’ll probably be hunted down by the EPF, so we need to be prepared. We can’t fight down a whole squadron of EPF officers ourselves, so we need troops. So Butler two things: upgrade the gun and get troops. That’s what I need you to do. Gun and troops”

“OK, sir. I’ll go fix the gun, and then I’ll recruit some troops.”

“Well that’s that then my faithful manservant, that’ll be all.”

Back at the unexplored cave where Steve is trapped underground…

Steve waited for everything to stop spinning which didn’t make a difference since it was pitch dark in there.

It’s just like the EPF prison.

Wait a minute. That rang a bell.

EPF Prison… EPF Prison… Criminals… Criminals…

Then he remembered. He was on a mission to catch Frankenbear.

“Lights…” he mumbled and the lights on his headset lighted up.

“Steve! Officer Steve! Are you all right?”

“I’m fine right now. I’ve just fallen into a trap. No doubt Frankenbear set this up. If you want to help, help me get out of here.”

“OK then, well send some reinforcements to you to help you get out. It shouldn’t take too long.”

After a boring half an hour with several complaints from Steve a hole on top opened up on top and a rope dropped down. It was the rescue officers.

So after ten minutes of bad teamwork (“Hup! Hup! Hup! Faster! Faster! You guys pull like my old grandpa!” [Drop]) they finally managed to haul Steve up. Steve turned off the lights on his helmet

“OK Steve, Gary managed to find the exact location of Frankenbear’s hideout. Well it’s not much of a hideout though but it’s a castle in London.” Said one of the officers.

“London?! That’s thousands of miles away!”

“Yes, we know. So Gary’s provided you with transport. It’s back at base.”

“OK then. We’ll head back to base.”

One hour later. Steve has been given the suitable aircraft by Gary and has started to fly to London…

“OK, Steve. What we want you to do is find Frankenbear’s castle, then call us. Do not attempt retrieval. I repeat: Do not attempt a retrieval.”

“OK, Gary! I know!”

“Just call us when you’re there.”

“OK. Over and out.”

Generally with any ordinary craft it would’ve taken over two hours to reach London. But with Gary’s fast craft it took only one. One hour later he was there.

Steve punched up a map on the craft’s on-board computer. There was a castle nearby. It didn’t look like a castle used by the royal family. So he headed there.

Ten minutes later he arrived and he felt his jaw drop. In front of him was a colossal castle, all built in polished stone and stone bricks. And on the top were flags all showing the same symbol:The face of a large purple bear that looked more like Buddy Bear than Frankenbear. He was about to attempt a silent approach when…

Clunk!!

went the motor.

Oh man, thought Steve, It’s going to be hard getting out of this one.

Meanwhile insde the castle half an hour earlier…

“Got the gun ready, butler?” asked Frankenbear.

“Yes, sir” answered Butler. He was used to being ordered around like this.

“Good. Get ready to test it on that man in the prison cell: Notch. And the troops?”

“Going very well, sir. Got about a hundred now.”

“Excellent! Come with me to the prison cell.”

And just then…

Clunk!!

“Who’s that?” asked Frankenbear.

“No idea,” answered Butler.

“Well come with me, Butler”

And the two of them stepped out through the front door onto the lawn. There appeared to be an aircraft hovering in mid-air in front of them.

“Shoot it, Butler.”

Butler pulled the trigger and a pulsing blue beam exited the gun and headed straight towards the aircraft.

***

The aircraft was on fire. SYSTEM MALFUNCTION!! Flashed the screen.

Why does my job have to be so hard? Thought Steve.

It looked like someone had just shot at him. He had only one option left. Jump.

He grabbed a parachute from the emergency equipment rack and jumped from the flaming aircraft. He reached for the string to deploy the parachute but it was not there. He looked up at the parachute that he was using. It was a tent not a parachute.

Uh oh, thought Steve, this is going to be very bad. Very bad indeed.

And he hit the concrete with the same dull thud and slid into unconsciousness.

***

“Who’ve we have here?” asked Frankenbear, “Looks like one of them EPF Officers. Take him inside, Butler and throw him in with Notch.”

“Yes, sir” replied Butler.

Just then Steve woke up. And saw that he was being carried by a humungous person.

“Shoot him, Butler.” ordered Frankenbear.

And Steve had only time to mutter the word: “Bear…” Before he was shot and fell unconscious yet again.

Just when Steve jumped off the aircraft and hit the concrete becoming unconscious…

NO SIGNAL! Flashed the monitor in the control room.

“What happened, Gary?” demanded the Commander.

“I don’t know, Commander. I think he must’ve fallen unconscious.” replied Gary

“Well that’s not much of a surprise. He was such a fool to jump out of that craft with a tent in his hand. It’s a wonder he didn’t die.”

“Steve’s really tough. Tougher than you might think, Commander. I’m pretty sure he survived.”

“Well we better send our troops there to fight. Steve already tracked his castle. Go to full alert. Code red emergency. Get a few of the fastest crafts ready. We’re leaving immediately.”

“Good idea,” replied Gary pressing the emergency button, “but when you say we you don’t mean…”

“Yes I do, Gary. I’m going with the troops.” said the commander snatching up a microphone that linked to everywhere in the EPF headquarters.

“Everyone, we have a code red emergency. I need some trustworthy troops to meet me at the vehicles area.”

Ten minutes later about a hundred and fifty troops had gathered around in the vehicles area.

“OK, Officer Steve is stranded at Frankenbear’s castle. We need to rescue him. We also need to catch Frankenbear. There may be some violence in that part. Now who would like to volunteer to rescue Officer Steve?”

Fifty people raised their hands. The commander picked ten of them.

“The rest of us will go in and capture Frankenbear, understood?”

Of course it was understood. They were professionals.

Gary had provided them with three large aircrafts. Fifty people climbed into each. So after Gary had given them all a great big lecture about driving safely to avoid crashes and all that sort of nonsense they finally set off.

Meanwhile, at Frankenbear’s castle…

“Get the troops ready, Butler.” Ordered Frankenbear.

“Yes, sir,” replied Butler.

“I have a feeling that visitors are on the way.”

Back at the aircrafts scene, one hour or so later…

“Here we are. We’ll start attacking while those ten people who I picked sneak in to rescue Steve.” the commander told them.

And they started to shoot.

***

Frankenbear’s castle began to shake.

“D’Arvit!!” swore Frankenbear, “Ffffffff……… (censored)!!! Butler, lead the troops outside. It’s time to show our idiotic friends what they’re dealing with.”

Butler commanded the troops forward. They charged through the front door. Twenty-five of them were killed by the aircraft’s shots. After ten more minutes of more death and more shooting Frankenbear’s troops finally manage to shoot down the EPF’s aircrafts (due to the aircrafts superior armour.Made by Gary of course)

Now Frankenbear only had sixty troops left. The EPF’s troops charged into Frankenbear’s castle.

Everyone was now frantically trying to shoot down people from the opposing side.

It seemed that Frankenbear’s troops were more skilled than the EPF’s. After half an hour sixty of the EPF’s troops had been shot dead. Another half an hour later twenty more were killed. Leaving sixty troops left. And Frankenbear had only lost twenty troops.

The battle continued in Frankenbear’s castle for another two hours, with neighbouring houses’ people wondering what all the commotion was and finally getting fed up and turning up at Frankenbear’s castle only to find that they’ve stepped into a war zone and started screaming until their voice ached and finally being captured by Frankenbear’s troops and held hostage. Some of them managed to escape.

Meanwhile at the prison cell…

Steve was regaining consciousness. And recovering from the shock that Butler had given him.

“Hello?” said a voice. “You awake?”

Steve opened his eyes. There was a man staring down at him. A man that looked a lot like the man Notch.

“Hello?” said Notch.

“Where are we?” Steve asked.

“In that purple bear’s castle. The bear that killed Notch.

Suddenly the two of them heard footsteps approaching.

“Brace yourself.” said Notch. “It’s probably that Butler guy coming.”

But it wasn’t Butler. It was ten EPF officers. By the looks of things they had come to rescue them. One of the officers pulled out a pin and started to pick the lock.

But it seemed that the officer had never picked a lock before. After ten minutes he still wasn’t done. After another twenty minutes he still wasn’t done.

“Come on. Hurry up. We haven’t got all day.”

Ten minutes later he finally managed to pick the lock. He was about to open the door when one of Frankenbear’s troops arrived.

“Ummmmmmmm…”

After several frantic minutes there lay the ten EPF officer’s unconscious. But the troop made one mistake: he didn’t know that the door was unlocked, so when he left, Steve and Notch escaped.

Back at the battle…

Now it was just the EPF’s twenty stupid troops against Frankenbear’s thirty experienced troops.

After ten minutes each side had lost ten troops leaving them with:

EPF: Ten stupid troops.

Frankenbear: Twenty smart troops.

Just then…

Steve to the rescue!!

Steve arrived at the scene, shooting as many people as he could.

He shot one… He shot two… He… He…

Got shot and fell to the floor.

“Now that is just lame.” said the commander. “Really lame. I want reinforcements here NOW!”

An aircraft arrived carrying fifty troops. Unfortunately, all the troops jumped off the aircraft with blankets instead of parachutes. They all died.

“Seriously, are you guys ever going to think before you do something stupid?”

Ten minutes later. It is ten troops (Frankenbear’s troops) versus just the commander.

Just then, Steve woke up. He had been shot with a tranquiliser dart. He was still feeling the effects of it. Steve charged.

“Aaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhh!!!!!!”

Just then Butler appeared out of nowhere and punched Steve with all his might. And Steve flew all the way to…

FRANCE?!!

OMG!!

(hE SURVIVED THOUGH)

“Bonjour. Comment tu t’appelles? Comment ca va?” said a man.

[Translation: “Hello. What’s your name? How are you?”]

Back at the Battle…

So now it’s just the commander left. He charged.

He shot one… He shot two… He… He…

Ran in the wrong direction and sprinted through the front door, then he fell into a pit full of dynamite and died.

“Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!” laughed Frankenbear.

Butler felt an unresistable anger take hold of him. He just couldn’t bear it. Pardon the pun.

He pointed his gun at Frankenbear.

“Hey, what are you…”

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!

Frankenbear collapsed onto the ground.

“What’s going on?” asked one of Frankenbear’s troops.

“I’ll explain later.” replied Butler.

Ten days later…

Steve had finally returned to Melbourne after being punched all the way to France. He had spent six days in hospital. And four days trying to book a flight back to Melbourne (Au revoir!).

When Steve arrives at EPF headquarters…

“Hello Steve,” said Gary. “It is a very bad day for the EPF. We are down to only eleven members: You, nine technicians and me. What we need you to do is go through a time portal that I have spent one whole year working on and rescue the commander. Here you go.” He put down a very large machine in front of him and adjusted the settings. “Go in.”

***Time Portal***

Steve felt as though he was being squished through a narrow tube. He couldn’t breathe. Then…

***Time Portal***

He arrived at the scene where he had just been punched all the way to France. He approached the commander.

“Commander.”

“Steve! I thought you just got punched to France!”

“I’ll explain later. Come with me.”

Just then a dart loaded with poison sank into the commander’s neck.

“Commander!”

“I’m all right. I’ve just been poisoned.”

They stepped into the time portal and went back to the normal time.

***Time Portal***

“You’re back, Steve,” said Gary.

“Yeah, but the commander’s been poisoned.

“Hmmmm,” said Gary, looking at the commander’s neck. “I think it’s spider venom. It’s not very strong though. Here, I’ll prepare a teleporter to the antidote store. After Gary set the teleporter, they stepped in. But instead of the antidote store they were teleported to the…

“Chinese Fooooooooooooood!!!!!! How can I help you?”

“Oops.”

They went back and Gary reset the teleporter. This time it took them to the…

“Car repaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiirs!!!!!! How can I help you?”

“Oops.”

They went back again and Gary reset the teleporter again and this time it took them to the…

“Antidote stoooooooorrrrrrrre!!!!!! How can I help you?” 

PLEASE NOTE!!! THIS IDEA (AND THEN) IS BY NERD132!!

“We would like an antidote for spider venom.”

“And then?”

“That’s it.”

“And then?”

“I said that’s it.”

“And then?”

“Stop saying ‘and then’.”

“And then?”

“Seriously, stop saying ‘and then’.’

“And then?”

“And then you look for the antidote, put it in a brown paper bag, I pay for it and you give it to me.”

“And then?”

“No more ‘and then’.”

“And then?”

“No more ‘and then’.”

“And then?”

“No ‘and then’.”

“And then?”

“No ‘and then’.”

“And then?”

“If you say one more and then I’m going to punch you in the face!”

“…”

“Phew”

Guess

What?!

“And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then, And then.”

x90

After one hour of ‘and then’s. Steve had finally given the commander the antidote…

At the EPF Headquarters the two of them saw Buddy Bear accompanied by Butler.

“I’m sorry about all the trouble I caused. I’ll need to go to the antidote store to fix up my problem.”

“Nooooo, not the antidote store!!”

***tHE ANTIDOTE STORE***

ePIC SOLO INCOMING!!!

You ready?!!







Go!!!!!!

“Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!



Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!”

x3

“Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!



Oh ahh, ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!

Oh ahh, ye ye ye ye!”



“Ye, ye, yeye, ye, ye, ye,

Ye, ye, yeye, ye, yeyeyeye,

ye, ye, yeye, ye, ye, ye, ye,

ye, ye, yeye, ye, yeyeyeye.”

x5